I know, I know... it's been a month and that's a weird thing to start with, but I sat on the couch of the home I nanny in today and bawled my eyes out while Oprah said her farewells and made a damn fine case for a future career as a preacher. But what really started the waterworks for me was Os monologue about everybody's tendency to feel unworthy of the things in their lives - to which I said Ouch, Oprah, I think you hit a nerve.
Encouraging people to take responsibility for their own lives, she told her audience that the very fact that we were born, that we exist, makes us worthy. Of everything. I wish I could blow the lid off everyone's own feelings of unworthiness, because I know it's a common thread we all share and want to overcome, but I am only familiar with my own. So I share this with you, blog readers, I struggle often with feelings of unworthiness within my life. It's hard to face that sort of thing, especially when you're staring something or someone you love in the face and wanting to feel like you deserve to be there, in that moment. But what I'm rapidly coming to find is that the people in your life who are meant to be there, they see you, hear you, love you. This doesn't comfort me in every moment wherein I feel less-than-deserving, but it's starting to bridge the gap between my own judgement of myself, and my desire to live the happiest life I can.
The personal novella part of this blog is over now. You can breathe again.
Sooo clearing up the elephant in the blog, it's been a long, long time since I've stopped by. My utmost apologies. But y'all, it's been a busy/lovely month. School's doneskies for ze summer, I got a raise at work, temperatures have rapidly climbed to mascara-melting heights, and my side of Austin has started to clear out as people head home for the break. Here's a quick recap of my life for the past month for those who are interested (i.e. bored):
My kitchen has become my own personal culinary academy.
A few fruits of my rapidly growing cooking obsession:
Fettucini with homemade alfredo sauce
Pizza on my first ever attempt at yeastless dough!!
Parmesan crumb topped macaroni and cheese (clearly I'm into carbs)
In more kitchen developments, I'm become a kitchen cleaning fiend. Observe:
When I discovered we have a broom, I had a bit of an emotional moment. I secretly love sweeping. Except, not-so-secretly.
I'm a no-holds-barred animal lover, and my love of choice lately has been elephants. I've been pondering weighs (get it?) to make having pet elephants legal. For now I'm just happy to wear them on my feet:
I have, however, adopted a new little love. Her name is Charlene, and she's fast climbing my list of favorite possessions ever:
(For those who are confused, I sometimes sing shyly, and probably poorly, in front of people.)
So, as you can see, it's been a hectic, but wonderful few weeks for me. I'm crazy excited for the summer: starting my job full time, splitting my time between Austin and Atlanta (!!!!!!), and piling up more and more things to be grateful for everyday.
I hope you're all having a summer you feel worthy of!
- L
