My Inbloguration. Get used to the puns.

Y'all, I don't blog.

I have the highest respect for the blogging community, and am a fervent follower (well, stalker) of many a b-log. Fashion blogs. Baking blogs. Music blogs. It's stupid how much of my free time I spend reading the personal witticisms of others. I know a lot of people who blog and tumbl... something I don't quite understand, but have been told is a thing.

And so I thought, why not me? I like to write, and I like attention - THIS IS PERFECT! I'll just keep telling myself it's a way for my family to keep up with me, and I'll sleep like a kitten, without an ounce of shame in my own self-adoration in sight. What a douchey kitten.

To get this blog on the road, let me tell you a little about myself. I realize that's a little idiotic considering that if you're reading this chances are you either already know me, I've told you to read it, or you heard about it from someone we went to high school with and are just dropping by to see if I'm still such a shitshow. Spoiler alert: I am. But in a less tragic-hair-color-choices kind of way. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII amastudentattheUniversityofTexasmajoringintheatreemphasisinplaywrightingI'manannyfortwowonderfultwingirlsIlovemyjobmorethananythingIhaveawonderfulboyfriendhe'samusicianIknowwhatyou'rethinkingbuthe'sactuallyincrediblytalentednotjustlikeohmyboyfriendisaguitarplayerandplaysalotofcallofdutyHe'scompletelylegitIfyouwanttohearhisbandletmeknowthey'regreatAlsoIlovetobakeIt'smoreofapassionthanahobbyIhaveadognamedBowienotafterthesingerbutit'salongstoryIcollectflowersforwearinginmyhair.

Got all that? Now that we're suitably acquainted, I guess I should lay out what this blog's deal is. Here's the thing... it doesn't really have a deal. I'm just going to type at you and hope someone reads it, and maybe over time it will develop a sort of running theme. Until that day, kindly excuse my random rantings. I shall try to at least make them funny, but no promises. I only have so much sass to give.

Oh, also, I would like to apologize in advance for all of the following: bad jokes, references to Will Ferrell movies, pictures of baked goods, rants about various temperatures, pictures of animals, videos of my boyfriends (awesome) band, completely unfunny puns (see blog title), dreams aloud that I might one day be a singer, stories about shopping excursions to Target, musings about queso/fried rice/cheese in general, shameless plugs of things I'm working on, and personal videos of stripteases.

Just kidding about the last one. I'm not sorry about that.

Well, I've taken up enough of your time. Honestly, if you're still reading this, and you're not my mom, I should probably get to know you better. You're clearly someone with as little to do as I. Call me. Let's go get some chicken fried rice sometime.

Hope your life is delightful
- L

PS - To any and all family members who may be reading this, I really was kidding about the stripteasing thing. Sorry I'm such a heathen. It must be all the drugs. Kidding again. Please don't write me out of any wills!